MOVING HOUSE AGAIN

the bad news:
it's the end of the road
for the all seeing i
the good news:
a new blog rises from the ashes!

THE IDIOCIES OF MARCH

"i write it all down in my almanac
a volume of minutiae
a journal as a life slips by"
since my last almanacal addition
four weeks have flashed by in a blur
just like a lunatic driver
taking his chances
down a one-way street
so here they are
the ides of march
milestones relentlessly advance and recede
the spring equinox has come and gone
the clocks have yielded up an hour of dawn calm
to the evening's cool softness
little green shoots pierce the damp earth
huge clumsy bumble bees take wing
but i nearly didn't make it
so close to being the trophy
to catch the gleam in his eye...
it's the end of a long day outdoors
i am trapped
a lone two-wheeler
stranded among the gridlock
of the after-school crush
dust in my eyes
petrol exhaust in my face
a wall of vehicles blocking my path
the lights go red
i make a dash for it
to avoid the roundabout
duck down a side-road by the three horseshoes
i spot a gap in the traffic
launch myself forwards
and suddenly find myself
the meat in a metal sandwich
one lunatic driver accelerates off the roundabout
another car overtakes into the gap
in vain i apply the brakes
my front wheel buckles
the camera freeze-frames
i am airborne
looking up at the sky
my bicycle is flying through the air
my silver saddlebags are flung in opposite directions
i seem to hang suspended
then suddenly i'm lying on my back on the road
wondering if i'm alive or dead
picking myself up
and dusting myself down
to preserve my dignity
i discover that i am indeed alive
alive, kicking and miraculously unscathed

TIME MARCHES ON

a great full moon
the sunrises advance
the nights retreat
the sun warms the frosty ground
little flowers push their tentative heads up
through the hard earth
and say 'yes, we're ready'
first the snowdrops
then the crocuses
purple, yellow, white and pale blue
now the daffodil shoots
their flowers will bloom soon
on my way back from sarehole mill
as i turn the bend into corvedale
i meet sweet barbara anne
out on her own
for a bracing constitutional
in the winter of life
she emerges into a new spring
a spring like no other
a bit of a spring in her step
it's been a dark gloomy winter for the family
a winter full of uncertainty
of difficult questions
and inconclusive answers
but we may have turned a corner

ALMANAC

i write it all down in my almanac
relevant miscellany
irreverent ephemera too
a volume of minutiae
a journal as a life slips by
all itemised in my almanac

the hours are history
the seconds are a mystery
the minutes make some kind of sense
a serendipity
an epiphany
a record of the events

i always carry around my almanac
you never know when lightning might strike
a memorable turn of phrase
images that brightly blaze
across the pages of my almanac

the dates and the places
the names and the faces
the headline-makers
the movers and the shakers
the sober and the trivial
the witty and satirical
the belly dancers
the questions without answers

almanac
almanac
cluttered pages of bricabrac
oh it keeps me sane!

i really go to town on my almanac
i never let it out of my sight
glittering spangles in the sky
a room awash in milky light
all larger than life in my almanac

a radical philosophy
a puzzling dichotomy
a smart analogy
a brainwave that occurs to me
the beauty and the majesty
the horror and the travesty
the dreams and the memories
the problems and the remedies

the empirical
the metaphysical
the magical
the mystical
the flowing and the lyrical
the fanciful and whimsical
the allegorical
the phantasmagorical

i got a memory hole
i've lost the thread
there's a buried train of thought
deep in my head

almanac
almanac
better than any aphrodisiac
oh it dulls my pain!

GUARDIANS OF THE HILL

JOY

the beautiful words of osho
babble over smooth mountain pebbles
sparkling like jewels in the sunlight
so carefully these words are chosen
so elegantly they open up new vistas
'unlearn' osho says
'take all that you think you know
and stand it on its head'
it all boils down to one simple observation:
bliss is absence of ego
like light is absence of darkness
if you want to find bliss
let in the light
let go of your ego
abandon your successes and accomplishments
your prides and your vanities
your pasts and your futures
what you have left
is the hereness and nowness of total awareness
so blindingly obvious
but so utterly contrary
to the occidental mindset

WHEELS

for the last couple of months
while sweet barbara anne has been incapacitated
we've had an x reg vw polo standing in our drive
aw!
this one-ton assemblage
of metal and plastic and rubber
of grease and electronics
such a blessing
and such a curse
on an icy morning
when the north wind is blowing
and i must bisect the city
from leafy selly oak to grubby handsworth
the warm interior of this silver chariot
seems like a godsend
on new year's day
pistons blazing
it whisked us in no time
through bright countryside
to the gentle flanks of breedon
where public transport rarely ventures
mrs fireseed and the woodle
are chauffeured to and fro
monday ballet class
saturday swimming class
supermarket runs
friends' parties
the numerous locations
that are a pain and a hassle
to get to on foot
or by public transport...
but the taxi service quickly becomes a bind
and the empty tank symbol reappears
with surprising swiftness
shell
bp
esso...
not much of an ethical choice
when it comes to filling up
then there's the parking
the chronic road congestion
the road rage
the impatient lunatics
another room to get dirty and messy
both inside and out
as if we didn't have enough of those already
and suddenly the lean machine
that i left standing idle for a month in the garage
starts to reasset its attractiveness
my two-wheeler doesn't depend
on frequent guilt trips to petrol stations
owned by ruthless and exploitative corporations
she doesn't burn up
millions of years of accumulated energy
in a split second
my two-wheeler never gets gridlocked
in the rush-hour crush
she's much too svelte and manouevrable
she doesn't lock me away
behind a lonely isolating anti-social windscreen
she transports me at a human-scale pace
she allows me to take in the sights
the sounds and the smells
she's cool if i want to stop and smell the roses
or admire a tree captured in winter sunlight
or shake off a stubborn tailgater
she shows me the value of my own graft
she gets my heart pumping
my lungs breathing
and my muscles flexing
she puts me in a state of meditation
an alertness
a here and nowness
she keeps my feet on my ground
or at least very close to it
and i rest on her pedals
not on my stan laurels

DISENCHANTMENT

always there and never here
always far and never near
always then and never now
always lost and never found
always looking around the next bend
always dissatisfied never content
oh disenchantment
hear your heart beat
oh disenchantment
feel your lungs breathe

always dwelling on the past
always willing time to pass
always poor and never rich
always broken never fixed
you entered this world with empty hands
when you depart what will you have?
oh disenchantment
embrace this soft night
oh disenchantment
bathe in the moonlight
oh disenchantment
you already know
oh disenchantment
let yourself go

NO LIMITS

looking back
i've spent an awful long time
jumping through hoops
and i've wasted an awful lot of energy
trying to conform to other people's expectations
make no mistake
the brainwashing that starts at birth
worked on me
just as effectively as it works on everyone else
i was a good boy
i kept my head down
i toad the line
i kept my parents and teachers happy
most of the time
(except when i was nasty to my younger brother)
i followed the rules
i tried to fit in as best as i could
i studied hard enough
to pass my exams
and 'get an education'
altogether
i adapted to life behind bars pretty well
the meaty sugary fatty diet
the daily routine
i wore the uniforms
i drank the fizzy lager
i learned how to indulge in the banter
even my year (and a half) off post-university
was a textbook example of youthful self-indulgence
oh yes
dear friends
i accepted the limitations
i expected the expectations
i assumed the assumptions
i deferred to my greaters and betters
i never questioned the rules of the game
the narrow confines
the choice between pepsi and pepsi lite
prawn cocktail or salt n vinegar
cadburys or galaxy
colgate or aquafresh
ah! i was a slave
to the conditioned aspirations
the convenient lies
the chasing of rainbows
the pursuit of pleasure
the hunt for happiness
the definitions of success
the allure of money
the bombardment of mass culture
the acquistion of material possessions
the crystalline rush of power
the soothing massage of ego
i could not see beyond it
my horizons were hemmed in
i was the frog in the well
the fish in the small pond
the willing cog in the machine
until one day
i can't remember when
i started to notice a crack in the edifice
gradually the cracks began to multiply
until one day there was a gaping hole
appropriately enough
i probably have the internet to thank for that
the woodle's teacher says
she's a bright kid
but she doesn't get down to her work
i say: "she's a bit of a dreamer like her dad"
but secretly i'm pleased
she's putting up some resistance to the hoops

PULLING THROUGH

to smell the delicate fragrance of a spring twilight
to hear the cries of playful gulls cavorting far above
to watch a smoky greyhound stretch out across a bright dusk sky
to see the gilt-edged clouds chase one another across the horizon

to feel the gentle kiss of the evening sun
to feel the warm sand between my toes
to taste the tart sweetness of fresh raspberries
to chase a giggling child around the flower beds

to watch the arcing shuttlecock land just inside the line
to feel the air rush through panting lungs
to smell the comforting aroma of home-made nut roast
to sink at last into a comfortable armchair

to sense the milky white glow through the bathroom window
to watch a jaunty magpie hop along the ridge tiles
to feel the heat of the hearth upon my hands
to caress the smooth grain of time-worn oak